Had To Pull Some Strings



something here is not right

well. that’s what happens when your life is a series of doors in your face


shout out to everybody who has school soon

i believe in you

you will be excellent this year

and if you’re not that’s ok too it doesn’t mean you’re not smart

just remember to take care of yourself because your mental health is more important than your grades ok?

group hug ily all





Director: Do you have a monologue prepared for us today?
Me: Yes I do.
Director: In your own time.
Me: Ashley Katchadourian... you were supposed to be watching the door. You... were supposed to be watching the door. You were supposed... to be watching the door, Ashley Katchadourian. Do you know what these are Ashley Katchadourian? These are a little girls arms. A little girl with dreams, with legs, with a head. She's a pencil, she's a swizzle stick, you can use her as a pool noodle, and now i'm holding up her arms. Her arms. I'm holding them because you weren't watching the door. A girl lost her arms Ashley Katchadourian, a girl lost her fucking arms. Do you not know what has transpired while you were in pearl harbor, seeing the fucking Japanese museum? We had our own pearl harbor here today. Oh my god, how could you do this to us, you literally bombed us like the Japanese you are. And me, I'm Ben Affleck. I'm Ben Affleck and i'm holding two fucking girls arms. And you're Cuba Gooding junior disappointing everybody. Live with that!
Why do you want to be a comedian?


the free stool with a glass of water on it 


Suddenly you’re 21 and you’re screaming along in your car to all the songs you used to listen to when you were sad in middle school and everything is different but everything is good


if you think school is going to slow down my blogging you’re wrong ride or die


So my cousin was in a gay pride parade and everything in her outfit and makeup was rainbow but she was wearing red contacts and while marching, a protester behind her yelled “You’re going straight to hell” and she turns around to face him with her fuCKING blood red eyes and she says “well duh, I got a kindom to run” and the protester nearly fucking passed out that is her legacy I want to be like her

Even my girlfriend thinks I’m gay. #rainbow @comedybreather @jolleen_hay

Even my girlfriend thinks I’m gay. #rainbow @comedybreather @jolleen_hay

The Front Bottoms - Skeleton
1,061 plays


I’ve got miles to go ‘til I ever get home
but the sound of your laugh
and your voice on the phone 
makes me feel like i am already there


Memento (2000) dir. Christopher Nolan



Memento (2000) dir. Christopher Nolan


Yes, we were a trainwreck, but we were in love.
Ten word story || n.s.t. (via dearyesterdays)